QUIET | SUSAN CAIN
“There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.”
Cain tears down the illusion that those who talk the most are the brightest. It is similar to height. Taller people are promoted more often simply because they are more noticeable. Talking and externally processing do not equate to brilliance. In fact, Cain suggests the opposite is true. The quieter thinking types are more likely to come up with better ideas. Before speaking, introverts weigh, test, and theorize, then make bold statements.
One of the issues we face is that there are too many extroverts in leadership roles, as the system tends to channel them into those positions, yet they don’t always have the best solutions. Meritocracy isn't necessarily the solution either. We need to challenge leadership more, test their theories and ideas, and hold them accountable when they fail or make mistakes. Introverts are not blameless in this process; they must step outside their internal processes and speak up more. Cain explains the pressures introverts feel to conform to be heard, but this is challenging in a world designed for extroverts that often devalues introverts for who they are.
“Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.”
Words we have heard since childhood come flooding back. “Do not do something just because everyone else is doing it” were words I often heard growing up. Little did I know that the pull to be like everyone else wouldn’t lessen as I grew older. It isn’t until that perceptive moment when life doesn't go as planned that you look around and wonder, “How did I get here?”
One day, I realized I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong people. It was a wake-up call—not because this group of people was doing anything nefarious or criminal, but because our destinies did not agree. Now, I do not attend events I do not want to, and I am more careful about whom I spend my time with. I can explore my interests and pastimes without giving them to the group. This freedom has improved my health and my confidence.
“There is no one more courageous than the person who speaks with the courage of his convictions.”
People can disagree and even argue, but it is powerful to engage with someone who is passionate and convictional—better yet, someone who can courageously argue their convictions, knowing they do not follow the status quo.
Cain explores how most extroverts speak too much and most introverts speak too little. She emphasizes the importance of challenging extroverts to make their words matter, ensuring they have more substance than quantity, and encourages introverts to speak up when it matters most. There are challenges on both sides, but we need to create a world that holds extroverts more accountable while supporting introverts.
“The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it’s a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers — of persistence, concentration, and insight — to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems. make art, think deeply.”
How powerful would it be to find ourselves exactly where we should be? Not at a place that is trending, where some app shows we belong, or because there is a crowd, and we do not want to be left out. Instead, we find what suits us best.
I love photography and will always identify as a photographer. Still, in my ten years of running a business, I have never overcome the challenge of having to wear the extrovert hat for a photoshoot, upsell, and then start all over again constantly. Lengthy projects, even those that take years, suit me better. I'm usually introverted, but when the situation calls for it, I can switch to my extroverted self for a while. A study light illumines my writing space, and natural light enhances my photographic work.