TRAITS OF AN EMPATH - TARGET OF ENERGY VAMPIRES
Relationships are always some sort of exchange, with varying degrees. The more important question to ask oneself is, who gives you energy and who drains it away? It is necessary to surround oneself with supportive, authentic, kind-hearted people who are open and less inclined to egocentric behavior. It is also imperative to recognize those who leech your energy, whether they mean to or not.
Positive energy is uplifting, rejuvenating, and sometimes even inspiring. When I leave a conversation rich with authenticity and support, I can ride the wave of good vibes for hours or even days. Likewise, time spent with energy vampires — those who prioritize themselves, complain frequently, and rarely see the positive in anything, while also hiding their genuine emotions — can cause such a loss of energy that it can take days to recover. It is essential to be surrounded by positive, life-enriching people who are dependable and honest.
In contrast, energy vampires emit a negative energy that can be utterly draining. There is a spectrum of malicious and intentionally damaging individuals to those who are obnoxious, to those who are friendly, but not forthcoming about anything of value. I have found that the people who are kind and have good face value, but are not honest, are topic avoiders, and those whose conversations lack depth or meaning are the ones who drain me the most. Indeed, many hours spent listening to the heartache of a friend or family member takes its toll, but it is the conversations when I know someone is not being honest or open with me that take the wind out of my sails. It is the lack of their trust in me that hits the hardest.
How to identify energy vampires:
Does interaction with someone negatively affect your well-being?
Do they brighten your mood or cause you to feel down?
Is there someone who is self-absorbed and seems not to be interested in your life?
Does someone act passively-aggressively toward you?
Does someone feel as though they can dump their emotional turmoil on you?
Is there someone who is always the victim, and never tries to find solutions themselves?
Does someone always seem to have drama they have to share with you?
Healthy Boundaries for Empaths:
Train yourself to recognize the traits of energy vampires quickly
Once you know how to recognize the signs, it is easier to protect yourself from energy vampires. If you notice a lack of energy, dread, or try to avoid someone, check to see if they are exhibiting emotional vampire behavior. Once you know someone has an energy-draining tendency, you can be more prepared to withstand, avoid, or recover from the experience.
Listen to what your body is telling you
It may not be immediately apparent when a particular thing is draining your energy. It is wise to allow your body to rest and reflect on the nature of your exhaustion. Giving enough time and analyzing it should make it clear who is the cause of the loss of energy.
Learn how to say “no” even when it is difficult, but without creating controversy.
Energy vampires feed off the idea that an indecent is not their fault and will happily put the blame on anyone else if they can. Saying no or not acquiescing to someone's request or demand may cause a stir, but it is essential to protect yourself and your own emotional well-being.
Be intentional and selective with how much time is spent with energy vampires.
While it sometimes feels like you have no choice about who you are around, empaths should make a point of gaining control of their situation. There is always a way to keep energy vampires at a distance or schedule time with them when you can follow the experience with rest or something uplifting to the spirit.
Know when to rest and take a break.
Empaths must take the time to rest after a fatiguing encounter. I cannot stress the vital importance of allowing the mind, body, and spirit to recover and prevent absolute burnout. Rest can take many different forms. It could actually be as simple as napping (10-20 minutes), engaging in something that brings joy, such as a hobby or craft, or spending time in nature. Recovery depends on the person, but regardless, time for rest and recovery is essential after time spent with emotional vampires.
Know when to break off relationships when they have reached a toxic level?
When a relationship reaches a point where you cannot be the better version of yourself or you find yourself merely a placeholder, it is not only necessary but healthy to break off that connection. It can be difficult to be straightforward and honest, knowing that your resolution will likely cause pain and inevitably come back to hurt you as well. Even so, there are relationships for different seasons. Not everyone we associate with is meant to accompany us throughout our lives, nor are we to be part of the lives of others in the same way. It is also important not to ghost people, as emotional vampires have a way of coming back to start the cycle all over again.
Remember that it is okay to set boundaries.
Empaths often feel guilty for saying “no,” believing they are letting people down or are a disappointment. Likewise, empaths often feel guilty for devoting time to rest, believing that a lack of productivity is a bad thing. It is important for empaths and non-empaths alike not to feel guilty for having healthy boundaries that protect their emotional health and well-being.
Writing & energy vampires
Life is full of inspiration from the glorious beauty of creation to the frightful capacity of human nature. Within this vast spectrum, we writers are able to draw upon numerous stories and experiences to serve a creative purpose. Writing also becomes a form of therapy, providing a release for what has been absorbed and would have otherwise dampened the energy to write.
However, if completely drained of energy, none of the writing that needs to be done gets accomplished. Yet, if one does not go out to the world and live, have relationships, and find connections, then what is there to write about? An equilibrium of a “lived” and “left alone” existence is of vital importance.
