TRAITS OF AN EMPATH - ABSORBING EMOTIONS
Empaths can walk into a room and immediately pick up and sense the energy of the people who are present. A person need not even be nearby or part of the conversation. This has something to do with mirror neurons—special brain cells that help each of us understand other people, relate to them, and learn new things.
The difference with “mirroring” for an empath is that those neurons are more active. This activity causes empaths to feel a great deal, even with strangers, and can also cause them to absorb the emotions of others. This ability to absorb people’s joy, pain, or frustration can cause sensory overload and leave an empath fatigued, exhausted, and sometimes even confused.
More often than not, an empath is a highly sensitive person, but an HSP is not always an empath. There is a distinction. An HSP has a greater capacity for empathy and, scientifically speaking, has more active mirror neurons compared to non-HSPs. Empaths, on the other hand, not only have a greater capacity for empathy, but they also absorb the feelings and emotions of others. This absorption is far deeper than merely relating to and empathizing with someone. It is like walking in someone else’s shoes and living their life in an opaque, distant sort of way.
A huge benefit of being an empath is the ability to recognize when people are being truthful, open, and honest, or if they are omitting information or even lying. This ability can be hurtful when I do not feel trusted, but I cannot help but be aware of my standing in every relationship. I am not in the dark in my friendships, and if a relationship is long-lived or important, I can address the omissions with gentleness.
Another benefit is the ability to imagine myself in the shoes or even the worlds of characters. This can be in books, movies, or plays. This three-dimensional view of a character or a world has helped me write. If I concentrate on a scene, I can see the world unfold before my mind like a tapestry. This focus demands a great deal of energy, and I have found it challenging to carve out the time and space to tap into this ability amid motherhood.
One major drawback of absorbing other people’s emotions is the drain it can leave on my energy. If I am not careful, being around too many people can quietly drain my energy and attention. I no longer go from gathering to gathering; instead, I limit my social interactions, so I have energy left for my family and myself.
This drawback has a silver lining. The necessity of my social limitations has led me to learn the art of saying “no” more often and to shed more unnecessary perceived obligations. I have had to prioritize and strengthen my discipline regarding how I use my time and who I associate with on any given day. This growing ability has been vital to my sense of sanity and has begun to break my link to the ‘Do It All’ syndrome that plagues most mothers.
As I learn more about being an empath and how I absorb others' emotions, the better prepared I can be. Understanding that my mind works differently from others is helpful to know. My education has also solidified why photography has always been a good fit for me: my ability to anticipate a photo as it forms. With writing, I am still learning and attempting to discover how this ability can be useful.
The most important lesson has been to keep myself from falling headlong into the full absorption of other people’s feelings. This can be quite difficult, as random people often share openly with me, even if we are unknown to each other. Something about this flash of intimacy is beautiful: I can be a listening ear and a gentle receiver of their hurts, worries, and fears. However, I have to be careful not to get lost in others' lives. I need to distinguish my emotions from other people’s feelings and remember not to overextend myself. I have to save time, energy, creativity, and care for those I love most.
Cover Image: Group of Women, 18th century. The Metropolitan Museum of Art